I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think i have two assholes
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
