Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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