3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize