I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
