You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize