thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
