i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just found puke in my bra..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
