Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
