she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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