I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
