Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
