doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
