I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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