i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
