Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize