Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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