She announced her abortion via fbk
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
