She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
