woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
