I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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