She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
