Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize