come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
