Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
