i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
