I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
