I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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