me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
