I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
