this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
