just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
