I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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