Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
