Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
