You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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