dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
