I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
