distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
