imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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