Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just google imaged poop.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
