Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
