So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just want to make out with him forever
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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