All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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