Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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