Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
