when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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