I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize