The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
