I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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