matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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