the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
