Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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