So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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