Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
