Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
