it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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