How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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