Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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