Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
