Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
