Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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