just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
