I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
