Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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