you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
